


All Dress Up, Nowhere To Go

by MagicalMusing



Series: Carry On Countdown 2018 [14]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: AU where Simon gets back with Agatha and nothing happens over christmas break, Angst, Carry On Countdown 2018, F/M, Hurt Baz, Hurt Simon, Pining Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Unhappy Ending, oblivious pinning simon snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 17:05:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16916871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalMusing/pseuds/MagicalMusing
Summary: Baz is a pinning fool, Simon gets back with Agatha





	All Dress Up, Nowhere To Go

**Author's Note:**

> Dec 8- Cliche
> 
> cliche: All dressed up and nowhere to go (and also [kind of] it's not you it's me)
> 
> Unbeta'd

**Simon**

 

Two weeks. Baz was two weeks late for the school year, and he comes back like it’s normal.  He hasn’t said a word to me since he got back; no apologies, no nothing. Doesn’t he realize I was worried about him? He could have been doing anything during those two weeks, planning my murder, getting hurt, getting ready for bring my demise. Maybe this was his actual plan; making me worried so I’ll let my guard down and he can attack him this year.  This would be the easiest time, it’s our last year at Watford, we probably won’t see much of each other after the school year, and it’s not like I’ll be making my daily plans known to him. 

 

We probably won’t see much of each other after school. We’ll probably never run into each other again.  I hope we run into each other after school, given Baz isn’t trying to kill me. 

 

We probably won’t see much of each other after school ends….shit. 

 

Why is this bothering me? We’re not even friends, we just are forced to share a room. 

 

**Baz**

 

Two goddamn weeks. I was in that coffin for two goddamn weeks.  Thinking of never seeing Simon again kept me going. I left the coffin, thank you Fiona, with the determination to stop fighting with Simon. I could handle being friends with him, if it never went anywhere else I’d at least be able to keep in contact after school, right? 

 

Well, it’d help if I could the damn courage to talk to him. It’s been two days and we haven’t said a word to each other. I’ve tried, believe me I’ve tried. I just can’t get the words out.  If I don’t get this done soon, who know what will happen this year. My father is expecting results soon, and I don’t want to. 

 

Why do I have hope, he probably loves that we haven’t spoken, that I was missing for two weeks. He probably thinks I spent the two weeks coming up with a plan to hurt him. Wanting to keep in touch after Watford is probably less than the last thing he wants.

 

Fuck. 

 

~~

 

“You know he was worried about you when you weren’t at school?”

 

I look up from my book, “What?” Bunce is leaning against the door frame waiting for Simon to finish getting ready

 

“He was worried about you, he still is but he won’t admit it.” She says again nonchalantly

“Well, he’s not related to the reason I was late coming back, so he doesn’t need to worry. I’m just finishing up school and going on with my life,” I half whisper, trying to go back to my book.  Why was he worried? He’s still worried?

 

“You should talk to him. It’s secretly driving him crazy you two aren’t talking. At least make a threat so he’ll stop being on edge so much,” Bunce is clearly worried about Simon. 

 

I open my mouth to reply, to tell her I don’t plan on threatening anyone, but Simon walks out of the bathroom, unaware of the conversation that was just going on. He grabs his coat from his bed, and maybe it’s just my imagination but it looked like he was about to turn my way and say something but changed his mind and began walking out of the room.  Bunce had her eye’s on my the whole time.

 

“Have fun guys,” I call out as they walk out the door.

 

**Simon**

 

Baz and I started talking; nothing serious or anything. We’ll just talk about classes and plans for after Watford.  Something happened, and our entire dynamic changed. Baz doesn’t care about how he suppose to end me anymore, or that I’m suppose to be The Mage’s Chosen One or anything like that. He’s just focusing on his classes, football, and his life after Watford. 

 

It’s been nice though, we’ve had longer, more casual conversations over the past few weeks. Nothing bad has happened between us all semester.  I like this version of Baz, getting to know him as my roommate and classmate, not an enemy. We’re more open with each other and I find myself looking forward to the nights where it’s just the two of us in our room. 

 

I like the change.  

 

~~

 

“Well you’re dressed up all fancy,” I walk into the room to find Baz staring at himself in the mirror. He’s got a dark purple button up, black slacks and dress shoes on; freshly showered and hair in a small ponytail. I was right last week, he looks better with his hair up; it makes his face softer and not so hopeless. 

 

“Aren’t you studying with Wellbelove and Bunce for another hour?” He seemed surprised by my arrival, I wonder if he’s going somewhere. Is he going on a date?

 

“Yeah. Penny had to leave early, something with her roommate or something. Agatha and I were talking and decided to get back together. I just came back to grab my coat, we’re gonna go out for a bit.” Did Baz just start slouching?

 

“Oh...have fun.” 

 

“Are...are you going somewhere? You’re all dressed up,” I began shifting my weight between my feet. Why was he so dressed up? 

 

**Baz**

 

I didn’t think it’d be this physically painful. He got back together with Wellbelove.  Of course he did, why wouldn’t he? I feel ridiculous and stupid now. I really spent all this time getting dressed up thinking he might actually like me. Stupid, stupid stupid.  Somewhere I’ve registered he’s waiting for my response, that the longer I wait to speak the more awkward the atmosphere in the room is getting, but I don’t really care about that anymore.  I was two sentences from making the biggest mistake of my time at Watford and now I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go. Nowhere to go, an awkward tension with my roommate and a broken heart. 

 

Roommate. That’s all we’ll ever be, all we ever were going to be. Roommates at Watford. 

 

“Baz?” Simon questions after I’ve still yet to answer him, reaching for my shoulder to get my attention.  

 

I jerk away from his touch, “I’m not going anywhere. I was just...,” words are hard to get out, I want to hide; hide from Simon, hide from myself, hide from my feelings, “I was just trying on the outfit. My stepmother sent it to make sure it fit for some dinner party over break,” I lied, moving my hands to undo the ponytail, “I don’t think my hair up works.” 

 

“Oh.” Simon seems to deflate as well. What does he have to be sad about? It’s not his heart that’s splitting apart right now, “It uh...the outfit looks good. Colour really suits you.” He stumbles over his words, “I...Agatha’s waiting I better go..”

 

“Bye” I whisper as he grabs his jacket and rushes out the door. 

 

**Simon**

 

Why does it feel so weird to see Baz like that? Why did he look so dejected? 

 

~~

 

“So...how was the dinner party?” I asked, treading carefully with my words. Something was wrong before break between us. Baz stopped talking a little, putting less effort and generally being out of the room more than normal.

 

“Dinner party?” He questioned, half paying attention to me.

 

“Yeah, the one you were trying the outfit on for?” I prod

 

“outfit...outfit...” Baz seems to be looking back in his memories for the outfit, “..oh. That outfit.” He seems to close off when he finally remembers, “it was fine. Uneventful,” he dismisses the conversation after that. Unwilling to talk anymore after that.

 

It’s been like that a lot lately. I thought we were getting somewhere, but something happened and almost all the work we’d made was gone. We’re not hostile towards each other, but there’s this tension we can’t get through. 

 

I’m actually beginning to miss Baz, but he hasn’t gone anywhere.

 

**Baz**

 

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t seem to get over Simon or the pain from that night.  

 

That pain from that night isn’t the pain I feel right now though. 4 weeks ago I still have a semester to become good friends with Simon, I could have handled that. We could have been friends and I’d be fine with that. 

 

Now I don’t have anymore time. My father is sending me to be taught in America, some abroad program. It wasn’t supposed to start until after Watford, but something happened and I have to start this week. The Mage approved, I only actually came back to Watford to finish packing my room.  Simon wasn’t supposed to be here when I walked in. 

 

“I have to go meet up with Penny,” He beings, like he’s treading a monster...or paddling in deep water, “movie night tonight?” He’s already opening the door, this is probably the last time I’ll ever see him so I look him straight in the eye.

 

“Tell Bunce I said hi, and thank you.” He looks utterly confused at my request as he leaves, not waiting for an answer to his actual question. If Bunce hadn’t told me Simon had worried about me I’d have never talked to him and started the delicate friendship I ruined before break. 

 

**Simon**

 

I left the room earlier with an odd feeling. Like I shouldn’t have left Baz there alone. 

 

I’m not sure why he wanted me to thank Penny for him, but Penny seemed to know why even though she wouldn’t tell me, she also seemed a little sad at hearing Baz’ message. 

 

I shouldn’t have left the room earlier, because I came back to a very empty room. All of his stuff was gone, decorations taken down, bed stripped and empty. It hasn’t looked like this since we were 11.  His side of the room was completely bare, except a letter for me.

 

_ Simon, _

_ Sorry I didn’t tell you I was leaving earlier.  I wasn’t quite sure how. I’m going to America, my father has set up this study abroad apprenticeship thing.  I won’t be back in London for a long time, a couple years minimum. I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to come back at all.  I’ll definitely miss you.  _

_ You seemed confused when I asked you thank Bunce for me earlier as well.  She told me you were worried about me when I didn’t show up for the first two weeks, that you were on edge we weren’t talking at all. I came back from being trapped for those two weeks wanting nothing but to end the animosity and hatred between us. She gave me the push I needed to be your friend. I’m sorry I ruined our friendship before break, I thought I could handle being just your friend but apparently I was wrong.  Maybe we’ll run into each other again in a few years. _

_ Baz _

 

Just being my friend?

 

Why is this letter so painful to read? Why am I crying? 

 

I’m never going to see Baz again, but why is that such a painful thought? It’s not like I’ll see most of my classmates after this year. 

 

What did I do? Baz is gone for good now, and I’m a mess about it. 

 

“Come back” I whispered to no one as tears feel freely onto the letter. 


End file.
